sanity

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OVERWHELMED

Since the middle of october I have been a 24/7 care-giver to my wife who is in stage 4 lung and brain cancer.
Watching her digress from a vibrant, feisty, sensitive, and compassionate person filled,  with compassion for every one. She has become an invalid who is unable to walk, unable to understand the most basic daily normal-life events, very similar to an Alzheimer’s patient. Some days are better than others, and some days are worse than I just described. We are both frustrated and angry as to why life has to take us down this road.
She has been my soul-mate for 24 years and we have been through hell more times than I care to recount, but we have always emerged from those past excursions in a better and stronger frame of mind. This time, unfortunately there is no chance for a hopeful emergence. The only small ray of hope we have is that she will still be here, and cognizant for our 25th anniversary this coming July.

An intelligent, sensible, non-delusional, progressive republican, concerned with the REAL ISSUES……

NO, I’M NOT DREAMING

NO, IT’S NOT A FANTASY,

YES, I AM SOBER…….

I’m reffering to Buddy Roemer.  He gets it, He understands. He has progressive views and isn’t afraid to speak the truth. There is no wonder why the GOP has disowned, and ostricized him. He remains to declare himself a republican mainly due to being a republican has become a hard-to-shake-off habit . The reality is he is either a progressive or a Democrat, or both, who simply can’t force himmself to come out as either.

Partisanship is nowhere in his DNA, he has no problem calling out either party when he sees a real problem, or true failings. When he speaks about the addiction of both parties to special interest money and influence, I can see Dylan Rattigan on one of his rants. Buddy is for real, and the only place he can get any respect or exposure is on MSNBC. The biased networks won’t have him, he’s much too sensible to make good TV. He speaks about the issues; how money has corrupted the congress and all of our government, he speaks about why positive change can’t come about and the reasons why, he speaks about income inequality,  not the GOPnutz talking points.

Buddy Roemer is one of the best hidden gems in the GOP, and one of their best kept secrets as a presidential candidate. I actually lived through a Buddy Roemer governorship when I lived in La. and as I recall he was a damn good governor. He lost his bid for re-election mainly because he was outbid by the big-money candidate, because he wasn’t conservative (corruptable) enough for the special interest money.If we ever have to have a republican president again, “The Buddy Plan” wouldn’t be a horrible thing, at least not as horrible as one of the  candidates in the  current “Clown Crew”.

-truthnreality.

My Time to Rant……

 It has come to my attention that someone, or some “ones” have been bad-mouthing me. If this true I welcome it, it can only mean one thing, I am having an affect on at least one person. If I am having an affect on someone, then that amounts to extra gravy on my  rice. My main purpose for writing is to relieve my self of the anger and frustration I feel when I hear what the GOP extremist, and sadistic party is doing to destroy democracy and bring this country to it’s knees under a tyrannic oligarchy.

The republican presidential “field of delusion” have shown themselves to be qualified to lead a criminal motorcycle gang, a white-collar criminal organization, an extremely subversive white supremacist group, or some religious dominionist group.  But, lead the country? Not a chance in hell ! The only place they can lead the country is on a downward spiral, wich is the swishing sound you hear in the background whenever they speak. They are all delusional lunatics, out to destroy the very fabric of democracy for all, and to make it an oligarchy, giving the country to a “ruling class“, their class, of those who hold the money and power and nothing more. They want US (the99%)  to be subject to only what they (the1%) want, and only to their need to increase their wealth and power.

The one only thing they are committed to are the “super PACs” .  And those who fund the superPACs, and their elections and supplement their personal incomes on the sly.  Elections no longer reflect the needs and desires of the people, our elections have become auctions where only the highest bidder wins, and the American people are always the biggest loser.

However, the elephant in the room is this; The tea-party  was born from and arose to prominence when those on the right and especially the extreme right  had a complete mental and emotional break down because someone who should be in their view, a slave owned by them or their ancestors. How could this happen in their USA?  It was such a shock to their beliefs and view of what america was supposed to be, that they became all-consumed with their hatred, their bigotry, their racism, and their need to remove this “black guy” from THEIR white house , that they are now in a mindless panic.

Every day we see the attack on voter rights, women’s rights, and the attacks on organized labor. They wnat to destroy the social safety nets that the poor, the elderly, and the infirm rely for mere survival. They try to defund and dismantle the educational system so, through attrition they can  cultivate a poor, ignorant and gullible  base that will be pliable and easy to manipulate through their lies and propaganda. We must remain mindful of this and fight back, we can not allow them to do this to us.

-TruthNreality-

I’m going to try to ease back into writing.

Cancer Update

She has undergone radiation treatment  for the tumors in her brain, and this past thursday she began chemo for the lung cancer.  The radiation caused her to lose all of her hair, wich she is very upset about. At first it seemed that  it possibilibly wasn’t going to happen (we deluded ourselves in a positive attitude)untill the last three of fourteen daily treatments.
I’m dreading the day when the negative effects of the chemo begin to set in, seeing her go throught hat misery will hurt me to the core. It’s so very hard to see someone you love and consider to be your soul-mate, go through such suffering.
 
This month has been a whirlwind of  hospitals, doctor visits and hours of treatments,mostly out of town.
Most of my time is spent driving, waiting, and caring for her when we are home., and I don’t mind a bit.
As a matter of fact I wish I could do more for her to make her feel better.
However it is extremely stressfull especially for someone such as my self who is suffering with P.T.S.D.
the 60,000 in bills accumulated in the last six (wich by the way, we will never be able to pay without gvmt. help)months doesn’t doesn’t help my condition at all, to say the least. reality is: I have to suck-it-up and do whatever I have to do for her. Our fight to overcome this thing is paramount.

I WILL BE ON CANCER HAIATUS…actually it’s my wife

 I promise, I will back to bizness as usual, for whatever that’s worth, as soon as things (and us) can calm a bit. When we got the news it was like being hit by a cruise missle. You think it will never happen to you, but let me tell you, lifestyle doesn’t matter…..We are all at risk for cancer . Who knows, I may have it also, the only way we found about her tumors, yes, TUMORS; THREE OF THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS, adenocarcinoma, in her brain causing her to have seizures. It’s been a whirlwind the last couple of weeks. I almost forgot to mention the BIG one on her left lung. Y’all send us some good vibes we can use all we can get. Since neither of are employed we have no insurance , and very few dollars. We are hoping and SHE is doing the praying, that we can get emergency medicaid for survival.